Imagining the Cast of Seinfield in Murray Upper

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Crocodile Sign – June Perkins

What can you do when it’s so wet and humid that every piece of material in your house smells like ten pairs of dried up socks rolled in blue vein cheese and hung like streamers at a birthday party for the grouch on Sesame Street?

What do you do, when you feel like you’ve been marooned in an episode of Gilligan’s Island that has been mixed with the movie Ground Hog Day only to find out that your attempts to learn in every repetitive moment is not leading to a resolution of your whole life?

It’s time to become as creative as the writers of Seinfield and imagine Jerry, Kramer,
Elaine and George wandering around the Streets of Murray Upper wondering where to find the best by the side of the road fruit stall so they can head back home and brag about it for months on end to their newest soon to be rejected love interests.

Only Kramer better not have his foot in the mouth disease with insanely inappropriate comments when he meets the local Indigenous community.  What is it with washed up actors and comedians who shoot off at the mouth and reveal when they are drunk that they need to get a social, historical, political education to take them out of the 1930s?

The big wet times of the year in North Queensland are as inevitable as the ending of  your favourite show with too many plot intrigues and stars asking for big hikes in salary with an overinflated sense of their own worth to the television executives.

Rain is inevitable whenever you are outside without a raincoat or umbrella, and the further you are away from the car, the more torrential and wild it is going to be.  Have you ever been so wet that your bones need wringing out and you’re sure that you can hear the water wriggling around in there like a case of rather nasty worms, whilst you sleep?

Our house – in the super duper like a with the lot burger that makes any reasonable human being sick,  wet – is like Noah’s ark – only the two by twos are every variety of insect, frog, toad and rodent fleeing the floods, not to mention a possible crocodile husband and wife that might just like to come and try our guinea pigs for tea.

Boogy boards are essential to wet days as they represent one of the ways kids can have fun as long as they manage to stay away from storm drains and of course the wandering crocodiles that have escaped from one of those b grade movie sets.

And it’s a foregone conclusion that you will be the one person to live right next to the oval where the crocodiles boogy board the floods of the never ending wet and end up eating your chickens.

Written after reading  http://thewritepractice.com/four-commandments-to-writing-funny/

This months blog challenge – to be funnier!

(c) June Perkins

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