The days of porridge – draft1#

I am setting myself a challenge of working on a piece over the week and sharing the drafting to redraft process. I thought I’d apply this to pieces posted on my memory /memoir blog.

Following the Crow Song

handrocks2sat Rocks for Art and Dreams – June Perkins

The first draft of this piece is the outflow of the emotion of memory.  Next I want to write it  more in a way that shows not tells.  In this draft I like the way the porridge motif works and will think about metaphors and myths around magic porridge pots perhaps.

 

Remember the days when we survived on porridge and rice

and friends sometimes bought us groceries unasked

to make sure we didn’t go hungry

both of us students

with young children

striving for our qualifications

to move ahead with our lives

under thirty we were.

 

We even spent short stints living with friends

and family

as we searched for affordable accomodation

who only asked that one day

when we were better off

that we passed it along

and shared that they had once

lived in the days of surviving…

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