I am setting myself a challenge of working on a piece over the week and sharing the drafting to redraft process. I thought I’d apply this to pieces posted on my memory /memoir blog.
Rocks for Art and Dreams – June Perkins
The first draft of this piece is the outflow of the emotion of memory. Next I want to write it more in a way that shows not tells. In this draft I like the way the porridge motif works and will think about metaphors and myths around magic porridge pots perhaps.
Remember the days when we survived on porridge and rice
and friends sometimes bought us groceries unasked
to make sure we didn’t go hungry
both of us students
with young children
striving for our qualifications
to move ahead with our lives
under thirty we were.
We even spent short stints living with friends
as we searched for affordable accomodation
who only asked that one day
when we were better off
that we passed it along
and shared that they had once
lived in the days of surviving…
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2 thoughts on “The days of porridge – draft1#”
Thankyou, it’s the first draft, still to polish it.