I’ve decided to workshop some old notebook pieces from prose into poems. Here is the journey of one such piece, ‘The Bubble’. (There are two posts so far on this).
Before applying some ideas from yesterday, I decided
‘The Bubble’ needed to be examined for its observational strengths.
I took a different approach by trimming excess words and shaping them into stanzas.
Then I did a little bit of work on developing the bubble metaphor.
I added a new title ‘Morning Vignettes.’
I am also thinking about ‘bubbles’ of memory such as in the photograph above in this post.
Draft 2 # The Bubble
Lavender princess chats to her sister.
Mother, whose vigil is her third child
the baby in her pram, turns around to
makes sure they haven’t disappeared.
Her protective gaze surrounds them
a bubble of protection
that could be broken.
School boys with ruffled shirts
caps tilted sideways
soft drinks in hand, call…
Friendship is their shield
and their challenge.
Their bubble is boisterous and loud.
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